The top 5 ways to manage stress in the office

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You’re probably running all day, trying to handle conflicting requests from multiple clients, colleagues, and/or opposing counsel, managing staff, facing deadlines, and hoping to maintain your personal life, perhaps wanting to address family needs as well.  Law practice is a breeding ground for stress.  And we’ve all had days that just start off wrong — the alarm doesn’t go off, your coffee cup explodes in the microwave, you spill breakfast down your last clean shirt; you get to the office only to find that your secretary is in a vile mood and you have 25 new emails and 15 new voicemails, all wanting immediate activity.  As the day marches on, you begin to feel that you’re living the lawyer’s version of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. 

How do you handle that kind of stress?  Hint: you may feel stress, but you don’t have to marinate in it.

Many activities are helpful in minimizing stress — time management, strong organizational skills, adequate sleep, good nutrition, etc.  But these activities help only prospectively.  They aren’t rescue tools when stress kicks up.

When a stressful moment arises, whether it’s a deadline, discovery of a mistake, trial preparation, or simply having too much work and not enough day, many techniques are useful to reduce stress.  I’m going to focus on the top 5 tactics here.

1.  Breathe.  Stress is a by-product of the “fight or flight” response, which is a biologically-driven response to a perceived danger signal.  The “fight or flight” response causes the body to make certain physiological adjustments, including tightening muscles and increasing the rate of heartbeat and breathing, so that our bodies are ready to fight off the danger or to run away from it.  The stress we feel is a consequence of this response, which is well designed to help us survive if we spot a tiger but not so well designed to help us cope with a pressing deadline — there’s nothing in a deadline to fight or to run from.  Engaging in deep breathing can interrupt the “fight or flight” response by relaxing the body and releasing stress so we can do the necessary tasks to face the more “civilized” threats that we tend to face today.  The quickest way to release tension is to take deep breaths that fully inflate your lungs and provide your body with sufficient oxygen, alternating with slow exhalations.  Try breathing in and out to a count of 7.

2.  Move.  It’s important to get up and walk around when you’re feeling stressed.  Two reasons for this: first, it allows you an opportunity to release some of the tension in your muscles, and second, moving allows you to shift your perspective in a tangible way.  Make sure you get up and walk around at least every other hour.

3.  Relaxation exercise.  Find an audio guided visualization or develop a meditation practice.  It only takes 5 or 10 minutes to feel relaxed once you’ve become accustomed to the relaxation process.  You can close your office door, pop in a CD or turn on your iPod, sit comfortably in your chair, and relax.  A good resource for short meditations is Meditative Moments, which offers a free daily meditation that takes less than 3 minutes or so to play.

4.  Anger release plus frame shift.  This is my favorite way to move through stress based on anger and frustration.  Go somewhere private (a parked car is a good place) and allow yourself 2 minutes to rant about whatever is making you angry.  Begin with a cadence:  “I am angry, I am angry, I am angry because…” and just let loose for 2 minutes.  The idea here is to release the anger in a safe place (i.e., somewhere that won’t create negative repercussions).  DO NOT do this in your office.  Following your anger release, shift your perspective by moving to gratitude instead, beginning again with the cadence, “I am grateful, I am grateful, I am grateful because…”

5.  Laugh.  Yes, it’s hard to do when you’re in the moment of stress.  But make time to watch a funny movie, read a funny book, or listen to a comedy performance that makes you laugh.  You might even want to keep a list of things that make you laugh (such as a TV series, a great website, a friend who always makes you laugh, etc.) so you don’t have to think it through when you need to laugh.  You might even try to take a humorous look at what’s causing you stress and see whether you can reframe the situation in a way that allows you to find the comedy.  Getting a guffaw going can take as little as 5 or 10 minutes, and you’ll feel like a new person.

It’s difficult, if not impossible, to avoid stress.  These tactics will allow you to perform emergency stress reduction, but you must also be aware when you’re beginning to feel stressed.  Do a self-check periodically (when you get up and move, for instance) so you can notice stress build-up so you can take these stress reduction steps before the stress level becomes unmanageable.

What training should law firms offer? Networking 101.

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I wrote a couple of weeks ago about the “soft” skills on which law firms can profitably offer training to summer associates.  Networking was on that list, and it’s probably my top pick for the hands-down most important soft skill.  I received a number of questions about what I mean by teaching networking.  So, here’s a brief overview of the networking seminar that I’ve developed.  The seminar of course goes more deeply into the how and where of networking, as well as focusing on self-presentation skills… But this is the foundational material.

Networking for Career Advancement

Few “soft” skills receive as much attention in law school as networking.  The reason is simple: networking will have a huge influence on your career success, so attention to why, where, and how you network will pay immediate rewards.  The good news is that you network every day, whether you recognize it or not.  You have networking opportunities every time you come into contact with another person, so your focus should be on how to make the best use of those opportunities.

Why should you network?  Networking is critical for client development.  Most people who have a legal need will ask their colleagues and friends for lawyer recommendations – and that’s true whether the need is personal (i.e. will and estate matters) or business (i.e. commercial litigation).  People hire, give work to, and buy from other people they know, like, and trust.  That’s what networking accomplishes.

Networking is not the process of going somewhere armed with business cards, ready to pounce on the first person you encounter to get the business.  That’s the kind of behavior that gives networking a bad name and leads nice people everywhere to dread it.  Instead, networking is relationship-building.  It’s the process by which you meet someone, learn about him, his work, his interests, his family, what he needs and desires, and so on.  It’s developing an acquaintanceship that may yield benefits someday for you or someone you know.  Sometimes the benefits are immediate: occasionally, networking will reveal an immediate need that you can meet or will lead you toward an as-yet undiscovered opportunity.  More frequently, it’s simply the opening stages of a relationship that will mature over time.

Where should you network?  Anywhere and everywhere.  Networking can be structured.  Most commonly for lawyers, networking occurs at bar association meetings and firm- or law school-sponsored social events.  As a law student, look forward and think of networking as something you can do for your own professional and career development starting now.  Networking opportunities come up every day, every time you meet someone.  When you meet someone at the gym, that’s a chance for networking.  Attending a party is a networking opportunity.  Even attending your child’s little league game can be an occasion for networking.

You can and should network whenever you meet someone, but you should be networking to build relationships and not to get a job or get business or to get anything else.  The best networking occurs when the person with whom you’re networking has no idea that you are networking.  It’s social behavior at its best. 

How should you network?  This is a broad topic that deserves a post of its own.  But the bottom line is that you should seek to get to know other people, to look for opportunities to make yourself useful to them, to be other-focused.  There are two reasons for this.  First, and most importantly, this is an honorable way to conduct oneself in any setting.  Second, people like to talk about themselves and their business, but few people like to listen deeply.  You will distinguish yourself by focusing on the person with whom you’re in conversation.  She will appreciate your attention, and she’ll especially appreciate anything you can do to help her.  One terrific way to follow up on a networking contact is to send an article that would be of interest to your contact.  It shows that you were paying attention, and it’ll demonstrate your desire to help that person.  Your contact will be flattered by the attention, and he will reciprocate because he will be curious about the person who is so nice and so interested in him and his business or his life. 

One book that I highly recommend for summer reading is Bob Burg’s Endless Referrals.  Although the book is written primarily for sales professionals, everyone can benefit from the other-focused networking skills that Burg teaches.

We’re as green as Kermit the frog.

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Lawyers who regret attending law school are green with envy of those who made other decisions, while some aspiring law students are green in their naive approach to what it means to be a law school graduate.  The grass is greener on the other side… And let’s not forget the green cash that magically appears (or is that disappears??) upon graduation from law school.

There’s a fascinating post on the WSJ law blog, entitled Law School: Does It “Keep Your Options Open”?  The question is whether, because of the cost of law school tuition, it’s a cost-effective strategy to attend law school to keep open a variety of options, rather than to become a lawyer.  The answer appears to be a resounding no:

There’s something wrong with a system that makes a whole lot of people pay a whole lot of money for jobs that are not worth it, or that have no future. If we wanted to be honest, we would inform students that law school doesn’t keep their options open. Instead, we should say that if they work hard and do well, they can become lawyers.

So says Cameron Stracher in a WSJ article (available online only with a subscription).  A New York Law School professor and author of Double Billing: A Young Lawyer’s Tale of Greed, Sex, Lies, and the Pursuit of a Swivel Chair, Professor Stracher is also a blogger who asks whether one man can change his life by making dinner with his family at least 5 nights a week for a solid year.  (It looks as if the answer to that question is yes, but perhaps we should wait for the “great book, and a great movie, then a great bathtowel and beach chair, and finally a great sequel” to follow.)

The publisher’s synopsis of Double Billing says, “As the author vividly describes, law school may teach you how to think like a lawyer, but it’s being an associate that teaches you how to behave like one. Or misbehave. Stracher doesn’t mince words about the duplicitous behavior and flagrant practices of many lawyers in his firm, which is one of the premier partnerships in America.”  Notwithstanding Professor Stracher’s current employment, that’s a rather unflattering view of law school and practice.  In candor, I haven’t read the book (yet, though it’s on my constantly growing list), but it could be either an accurate portrayal or a Swiftian satire or possibly a combination of the two.  So, perhaps the gist of Professor Stracher’s article is not surprising.

What is surprising about the WSJ blog is the comments.  A few aspiring law students provide the tenor voice begging for guidance while the percussion section provides a drumbeat of danger warnings: tuition is expensive, law doesn’t pay well enough for the vast majority of graduates, the work is dull and oppressive, and business school (presumably investment banking) is the route to true wealth.  The composition is rounded out with a staccato of reeds who ask when lawyers came to be such whiners.

Wow.

It’s certainly true that law school is now very expensive, even at most state school.  My own anecdotal evidence suggests that a substantial number of college students go to law school because they don’t know what else to do.  (I was a college senior in a 1990 English class when the professor asked how many of us were headed for law school.  A forest of hands went up.  Then he asked how many of us had any intention of going to law school before junior year, and mine was the only hand still up.)  And frankly, I do believe that those who end up in law school for lack of anything better to do have a much more difficult road to professional success (certainly in terms of personal satisfaction and enjoyment) than those who actually want to be lawyers.  I think the group next likely to suffer the consequences of an uninformed decision to attend law school are those who lack a realistic understanding of what a legal practice is all about.

If you’re headed to law school, ask yourself why.  If your answer is some version of “Eh, what else would I do?” start thinking now.  You can save yourself a lot of pain and tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of dollars if you clarify your reasons and your goals now.  If your answer is that you watched a lot of Law and Order (or Ally McBeal or any other tv show) and you know you’ll enjoy practice, do some informational interviewing now.  You may save yourself lots of money and heartache as well.  Personally, I’m in favor of an entrance and exit exam for law school: “Why are you entering law school” and “Why are you a lawyer”?  A cogent answer to these questions may be the best indicator for a meaningful career.

Does that mean it’s all gloom and despair if you went to law school and didn’t particularly want to be a lawyer?  Or if you’re practicing now and you’ve lost the passion — or perhaps never had it?  No.  It may take some self-examination (and the answer may be challenging, such as to change your area of practice or to leave the law altogether) but just about anyone can find a viable path in the law or a productive use for a law degree.  (For some resources, check the books on my Resource page.)

The road from law school is not paved with gold bricks.  It’s a lot of hard work, and the reward cannot be viewed solely as a matter of finances for the great majority of graduates.  As Professor Stracher says, hard work in law school promises only that a student can become a lawyer, and even that isn’t guaranteed.

If you have a vision for your practice (a reason for your decision to become a lawyer), be sure that vision is somehow integrated into your day-to-day life.  If you don’t, work to develop one.  The surest route to become permanently seasick-green is to finish law school, to be a lawyer, to be swept into a career that you didn’t want or intend and to see no way out.  If that describes you… Please, stop and think.  Get a partner to help your strategize what is and isn’t working.  It is possible to be a happy lawyer or to be otherwise happily employed with a law degree.

But, really…. Check out those WSJ blog comments.

Success and the summer associate: what’s a law firm to do?

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A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter isn’t really sure what to do with the guy because they never get lawyers in heaven. So he makes a deal with him that they’ll let him spend a week in hell and then one in heaven and then decide where he’d like to spend eternity.

So, the lawyer goes to hell. Gets off the elevator and there are all his friends. They’re having a great time. The Devil is a nice guy, his minor minions are carting around drinks. They play poker, go out and golf, basically live high on the hog for a week.

Then he gets on the elevator and winds up in heaven. He spends a week there and it’s fine, but not real exciting – floating by on a cloud, playing a harp, etc.

So at the end of the week he comes to St. Peter and says “You know I never thought I’d say this, but Hell was just a lot more fun. I’d like to go to Hell.”

So he gets back on the elevator and the doors open in Hell and now there are lakes of fire, and his friends are covered in boils, and the Devil is a jerk, and the demons are sticking him with pitchforks. And he says “I don’t get it, when I visited before you were so nice and we had a great time. What happened?”

And the Devil replies “Ah, then we were recruiting you. Now you work for us.”

This often-circulated joke always makes its guest appearance about this time of the year.  There’s a perception, which has some truth behind it, that big-firm summer associates don’t actually work much; instead, they’re wooed over fine dining and fun outings, presented with interesting work assignments, and welcomed with open arms by everyone at the firm…. And when they return as first-year associates, everything has changed and they’re working heavy hours on dull assignments with senior lawyers who don’t know them and, really, don’t care to get to know them.  (Fortunately, it isn’t quite like that.)

On the flip side, many firms are getting serious about summer associate training programs. Some firms offer a shortened, but otherwise almost identical (i.e., “Oh no, not this same case study… not the same questions… not the same presentation!”) training program to summer associates and first years.  That suggests, probably correctly, that firms believe that substantive summer training is unlikely to be useful when summer associates return for full-time employment more than a year later.  So, what training can a law firm provide that will benefit students and, in the long run, the firm itself?

  • Soft skills training, especially communications skills.  Students will use writing skills and oral communications skills between the summer associate and the full-time associate period.  They’ll be able to incoprorate and build on the training they receive in this area.
  • Networking skills.  Students will meet a lot of people during the summer associate period.  If law firms teach them how to approach and follow up with these people, they’ll help students develop the beginnings of a professional network.  Again, student will be able to incorporate and build on these skills during their third year of law school and while in bar review classes.  By developing these skills, the student will enrich his or her network, and that will sow the seeds for client development in future years.  That’s money well spent.
  • Staff relations skills.  This is something often overlooked in training.  Many law students have never worked with a secretary before.  Almost none have worked with paralegals.  And this is an area that’s often challenging for young associates.  Presenting a program on the boundaries of delegable work (i.e. what’s using a paralegal’s skills and what’s facilitating the unauthorized practice of law?), on how to partner well with a secretary (including issues like how a 25-year old associate can “supervise” and learn from a 55-year old secretary), and on how the firm’s support and administrative staff works will pay huge dividends.
  • Legal research skills.  Although students may use these skills less during their final year of school than some of the previously-discussed skills (except, perhaps, in moot court and practical litigation classes), these skills will pay off immediately in helping the summer associate deliver higher quality work.
  • Professionalism.  It’s much discussed, but professionalism is a fuzzy topic to a lot of law students.  It shouldn’t be, and it’s a great topic for a lunch-and-learn.

And what if you’re a summer associate and your firm isn’t providing this kind of training?  Ask for it.  It doesn’t have to be formal for you to benefit.  Find a senior associate or a partner and ask what she wishes she’d known when she was a summer associate, then ask how she could have learned it.  This is a small but important step toward being the CEO of your career.

New lawyer skill: Commit to setting aside time for yourself.

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Although I’ve titled this as a new lawyer skill, it’s applicable to all of us.  One of the challenges in creating work/life balance lies in the fact that it doesn’t just happen.  It must be created.  And, once created, it must be protected.  Zealously.

One of the fastest routes to balance is to block out some time for yourself every single week.  I’d suggest at least an hour two or three times a week, but everyone has a personal minimum that needs to be maintained.  What’s this personal time for?  Anything other than work.  Remember that gym membership?  This is when you can actually use it.  Or get a massage, visit a museum, browse the bookstore, or have lunch with a friend.  This is [a part of] the time that will make you a well-rounded, interesting human being rather than a worker-bee “human doing.”

The tricky part lies in protecting this time.  So often, we make commitments to ourselves and break them when something else comes up.  The key to getting the benefit of these self-appointments is to regard them as being as important as an appointment you make with someone else.  Yes, sometimes you will have to cancel them.  But if you find yourself canceling on more than a rare occasion, I’d suggest that you aren’t really making an appointment; rather, you’re making a plan that will fold if anything better comes up, or if someone else asks you to do something work related.  Getting the benefit requires making the commitment.

Pull out your calendar, your PDA, whatever you use to keep track of your time and schedule some time for yourself.  RIGHT NOW.  Waiting until you know what demands may be coming your way won’t make it easier to do, it’ll make it less likely.  Although spending time away from your work-related commitments may feel strange in the beginning, commit to trying it for 6 weeks and see what happens.  I predict you’ll feel more relaxed and find renewed energy for your work.

New lawyer skills focus: client development by cross-selling

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Every lawyer working in a law firm is aware that she will someday be expected to bring in new clients.  Rainmaking is a key skill for professional advancement, and it’s never too early to begin building those skills.

New lawyers face particular challenges in beginning to build a business development program, simply because they’re new.  It’s tough to promote a firm or its lawyers without knowing the lawyers fairly well, knowing who cover what area of practice and what experience they have, and even how the firm approaches potential clients or how it handles new engagements.

Networking is the place to start.  There are two basic kinds of networking for lawyers: internal and external.  I alluded in an earlier post to the concept that all lawyers have internal (i.e., in-firm) clients in addition to the external clients we normally refer to as such.  New lawyers need first to learn about the internal clients: who handles real estate work?  Is her practice limited to commercial real estate?  Who are representative clients?  Some of this comes naturally as you get to know other lawyers, but particularly in a large firm it can take quite a bit of effort.  Best ways to begin learning:

  • Go back to the firm’s website.  Read, carefully, each lawyer’s profile.  Yes, you probably did this when you interviewed, but now you’re reading so you know who to call when a potential client needs to talk to someone in another area of practice.
  • At all-attorney meetings or cocktail parties, or over informal lunches, make it your habit to learn more about at least one lawyer’s practice.  Ask good questions, keep the lawyer talking, and you’ll be regarded as a sparkling conversationalist — because, after all, we all enjoy talking about ourselves, and lawyers love telling their war stories.  A terrific question to ask: “Who is your ideal client?”  Or, “How would I know that someone I’m talking with would be a good client for you?”  (Caution: be sure that you’re really engaged in the conversation and genuinely curious.  Otherwise, this question will sound fake and uneducated.  Common sense required.)
  • If your firm publishes a newsletter of recent developments, read it.

These tips will help you to develop your awareness for cross-selling opportunities.  So, if your client mentions a problem in another legal area (say you practice IP and your client mentions an employment issue) you can be ready to suggest exactly which lawyer in your firm your client should talk with, and you can make that connection.  Cross-selling to satisfied current clients is probably the easiest kind of client development you can do.