New Lawyer Skill Focus: How To Deliver Bad News

This is one of the most challenging communications issues that new lawyers face — really, that any of us face. Something has gone wrong, there’s an adverse ruling, or someone made a mistake. How do you deliver that news?

Whether you need to inform the client or a more senior lawyer, the process is largely the same. (Why? Because every other lawyer in your firm is your internal client. More on this another day.) For ease of reference, I’ll write about this process as an attorney-client communication.

  1. Let your client know you have something to discuss and ask for the amount of time you expect the conversation to require. In other words, don’t call and let the news dribble out while your client is checking her watch and needing to get to another meeting. Elementary, but critical: “Is this a good time to talk? I’ll need about 10 minutes of your attention.”

  2. Provide any necessary background. For instance, “Stan, you probably remember that we filed a motion to compel a few weeks ago so we can get documents about XYZ Corp.’s finances.” If there’s any confusion about the background, explain.

  3. Spit out the news you need to convey. “Stan, the judge has ruled against us.”

  4. Explain what the news means. This is, of course, the crux of the conversation. Two things may happen after you spill the news, depending on the magnitude of the news: either the client will be silent and wait for you to explain, or she may be angry. (Frankly, the former may be more difficult to handle.) Unless you (or the firm) made a mistake, do not apologize.  Do empathize.

  5. If there’s a solution needed, or if logical next steps exist, explain what they are. Can you move to reconsider? Knowing your judge as you do (and you do, if only by reputation, don’t you?) would you recommend such a motion? How can you accomplish damage control?  This is the most important skill in transmitting bad news, in my opinion, because it’s most often overlooked. Things do go wrong, but when they do, you want to be the person who has options to suggest. Be sure you’ve thought through what you’re proposing because you’ll lose credit for any “solution” you put forward that may create additional problems unless you’ve thought them through and have a credible risk/reward explanation.
Be sure to deliver the news as soon as possible, because bad news does not improve with age — and you’ll likely just get more and more nervous. And finally, tempting though it may be, don’t try to cover up bad news. Unless you can solve it (and almost without exception, even if you can) your client deserves to know what’s happened. This is an integrity issue; it also guards your reputation. Fail to share the news you should, and it will destroy trust.

Most of all, remember to keep breathing. You’ll probably have some really bad news to deliver in your time, and keeping it in perspective is useful. Learning from your mistakes is imperative. Depending on the magnitude, almost everyone will forgive one mistake.


But in law, two strikes likely means you’re out.

Representing An Unrealistic Client

One of the most challenging client relations issues that lawyers face is representing an unrealistic client.  It’s easy to see how a client can fall into what is, objectively, an unrealistic expectation about his situation.  After all, many clients (corporate and individual) are deeply invested in their matter, and many clients (especially individuals)  are likely to have few legal issues, so those they do have are of critical importance, stress-inducing, and wrapped up with a variety of emotions.

Since lawyers by definition deal with a variety of cases ranging from fairly minor to deeply complex, it’s easy for lawyers to lose sight of the client’s perspective on an issue.  Generally, we get a sense of the client’s perspective early in the case, but especially where something is largely paper-based or not on an urgent timetable, it’s easy to let that slip away in the press of business.  And that’s where things get dangerous and unpleasant.

The top client relations skill, then, is to observe the client’s point of view on a case and to keep that in mind while handling the representation.  The result is that if the case takes a small but unfortunate bounce, you might choose to call the client or meet with her rather than send the news via email or letter.

Moreover, keeping the client’s perspective in mind allows you to recognize if and when a client slips into unrealistic expectations about his case, such as the finances (whether that’s legal fees, costs, or the expected damages, settlement value, or cost of the deal), or the speed with which the matter should be resolved.  The quickest way to a dissatisfied client is to lose sight of how the client is viewing what’s happening with your representation.  The second quickest is to fail to tailor your communications with the client to take account of how he’s seeing things.

So, what if you realize that your client is expecting a recovery in the millions when you think (and perhaps you’ve even told the client) that the case is worth only in the range of $10,000, or that the case should be resolved within 2 weeks, etc.?

  1. Communicate.  Find out why your client thinks what he thinks.  You’ll often find that he’s been consulting with a well-meaning but underinformed friend who’s a lawyer or other “expert.”  We all know that a single fact can take a case from “high value” to “dog,” and it’s a reasonable bet that the client will have disclosed only some of the facts, that the “expert” won’t know the law in the area, or that the conversation was only casual commiseration and the client took a comment far more seriously than it was intended. 
  2. Communicate in writing.  We’ve all had the experience at some point of hearing a lot of information and remembering only some of it.  Obviously, the same goes for clients.  So you might consider drafting a detailed engagement letter that includes information such as the expected time to resolution, the expected fees for various stages of the engagement, and/or your initial assessment of the case — all, of course, with language that indicates that this is your best estimate but that subsequent events or discoveries could change the situation dramatically.  Writing such a letter not only confirms that you’ve discussed these issues, it also gives the client something to return to down the line to refresh his recollection.

  3. Address the unrealistic expectations right away.  As soon as you sense that your client is holding some expectation that you consider unrealistic, address it. Immediately.  And be sure other lawyers and support staff who deal with the client are prepared to notice unrealistic expectations and let you know about them, immediately.  Like mold on cheese, unrealistic expectations grow if not cut off.

  4. Explain why things are as they are.  So, for instance, if a client thinks a negotiation is taking too long when it’s about average, share your experience with your client.  Let him know how long things like this usually take, what’s causing any delay, and whether you think the delay is reasonable.  Depending on the situation, this step could be delegated to a paralegal or could be incorporated into a regular matter update to the client.  In other words, be proactive when possible. 
  5. Review your client intake procedure.  A good client screening process is important to your practice and your sanity.  If you find a number of clients who hold unrealistic expectations, perhaps that reveals something about the way you’re communicating with clients in the initial meeting.  (The same holds true if you find yourself surrounded by difficult clients.)  Consider whether you need to spend more time or energy evaluating clients before accepting the representation.  It’s impossible to screen out every client who will be challenging, but if you keep getting these clients, you’ll be well-served by investigating why that’s so.

Identify The Problem, Define The Solution.

When you aren’t achieving the results you want to see from your business development activity, you almost certainly have one of three problems. Identify the problem, make a thoughtful shift, and you will likely see your results change. (The difficulty, of course, is in knowing what change to make, but that’s another topic for another day.)

So, what are the three problems?
  1. Not enough quality potential clients (directly or by referral). You may not be having enough conversations that lead to “getting the business” conversations, or you may be having plenty of conversations, but with the wrong people. For instance, if you’re having numerous business conversations that don’t intersect with your area of practice, you have a “leads” problem. (Unless that is, those conversations lead to your bringing business to a colleague and getting an origination credit even though you personally aren’t doing the work.)

  2. Not enough sales conversations, or not being able to close the sale. Your connections may stall short of an opportunity to discuss a specific legal problem that your prospective client has and to offer your services, or you may find that you’re unable actually to land the work. You won’t be able to grow a sizeable or a stable book of business until you solve a sales-related problem. 
  3. Poor client service. If you don’t serve your clients well (in what you do for them as well as how you provide that service), you’ll have dissatisfied clients. Studies show that unhappy clients often don’t communicate their dissatisfaction but simply take their business elsewhere, leaving the former service provider unclear on what happened. If you’re losing clients often, if you aren’t receiving referrals from your clients, or if your clients have repeat business that doesn’t come to you, you have a problem with client service. Although this problem will initially affect your work with current clients, it will eventually undermine your opportunity to secure new work.

Do you have a problem in one (or more) of these areas? Identifying the problem gives you an opportunity to identify an appropriate solution.

Tend Relationships To Grow Your Practice

While discussing business development plans, I often tell my clients that rainmaking is all about relationships. I also tell clients that good relationships, personal or professional, should be nurtured – even that low-level employee of a corporate client may prove to be a valuable contact one day. This past weekend confirmed that for me.

Clients sometimes question why I suggest maintaining friendships from college and law school, and the weekend offers the explanation. I hosted a reunion for six of my closest friends from college last weekend. Although we stay in touch by email and conference calls, we rarely see each other face-to-face. I was struck by a realization as I looked around at my friends: we’ve come a long way since college.

Of the 6 of us, I’m the only lawyer. Two are in high-level corporate positions, working with multiple law firms and (coincidentally) dealing with issues that were at the core of my interest when I was in practice. And three of the women’s husbands (who are invited for co-ed get-togethers) are in corporate positions as well, responsible for hiring or coordinating efforts with lawyers for some aspects of the business.

The other three women are teachers, and each is also active in the community in some way. One is a community actor and director who serves on several theatre boards in her city, another holds offices in various groups that her sons have joined, and the third is a leader in more community groups than I can count. These women are well-connected.

In the years since college, we have all advanced in responsibility. Through long history together, these friends (and their husbands) know, like, and trust me, as I do each of them. If I were still in practice, these connections would be ripe for business development – not because I would “use” my friends to bring in clients, but because my friends would feel confident in hiring me (or others I recommend) and referring others to me. (And here’s proof: a special “welcome” to the lawyers who have recently subscribed to this newsletter at the suggestion of one of my college friends – you know who you are!). The reverse is, of course, true as well.

Multiple referrals have passed among us over the years, and anytime one of us needs to meet someone for business purposes, working through this extended network almost always gets results. If any of us had judged whether these would be professionally fruitful relationships twenty years ago, the answer would probably have been no. We were either poor graduate students or eager but hungry young teachers, hardly ready to refer business to anyone except perhaps a great restaurant. Circumstances have certainly changed over time. But my friends’ basic attributes have not: they’re sharp, nice, trustworthy, and service-oriented. Those attributes have led them to success in a variety of businesses and relationships, and our connections are now fruitful professionally as well as personally.

This is only one example of how contacts grow. The same is true of former colleagues, junior employees of corporate clients, and so on. Regardless of where or how you meet, maintain connections with people you like and trust. You cannot possibly know where life will take you and your contacts or how (or whether) connections will shift over time, but solid relationships often yield business or other useful resources.

A client recently told me that he wished he’d learned years ago to keep in touch with clients and friends at his peer level. As you advance in experience and responsibility, so will your contacts. In our mobile society, today’s low-level employee at one company may be tomorrow’s vice president at a competitor.

Coaching challenge: Think about good contacts (those whom you know, like, and trust) with whom you have not talked recently. Pick up the phone today and reconnect with a few, or perhaps issue an invitation for lunch or coffee. Nurture these relationships and you will likely find that they pay dividends over time.

Two Sides Of Business Development Disaster

Two levels of activity can undermine your business development efforts: doing too much and doing too little. Think I just won the obvious award? Stick with me for a minute.

It’s no secret that doing too little business development activity means you won’t build the kind of practice you want. If you want word about you to filter out so potential clients come looking for you, you’d better help that word spread. If you think you’re going to inherit a book from a retiring mentor, you’d better have a thoughtful transition plan and a backup approach since clients don’t always want to be part of an inheritance. If you sit and wait for clients to come to you, you may find yourself waiting for drips of business that will never quench your thirst. 

But can you fail to build a book of business because you’re doing too much? You bet. No matter your situation, your time and energy are limited. This is especially true for senior associates and junior partners in larger firms: you have billable responsibilities, administrative responsibilities, professional development responsibilities, and you may well be busy personally as well, with a young family or supporting elderly relatives. And, of course, client demands can come in a cluster, leaving little time for anything else.

If you’re just starting to take on a particular business development activity (or to take on business development in general), you may be tempted to jump into the deep end and cram in as much work as you can that might lead to business. Unfortunately, that isn’t how business development works in most practices.

Taking on too much at one time is a sure recipe for disaster. You start out with great intentions, and maybe even clear plans, but everything falls apart with one little slip. (This is why diet challenges like the Whole30 often don’t work either: imperfection means failure.) You’re more likely to find yourself overwhelmed and discouraged, experiencing a crash-and-burn rather than kindling a brightly burning flame that will power your practice.

Business development is a career-long marathon, an endurance race that requires you to keep moving no matter what. If you try to complete that marathon in short order, you’ll discover it can’t be done. And far too often, those who try to do it all burn out and give up, at least for a while, before realizing later that they still need to build a book of business and now they’re further behind than ever. So take a step, then another, and keep moving as those steps begin to form a road to success.

Action step: what are you planning to start, or what business development project has stalled?  Break it down into doable steps and calendar those. Keep your commitment to yourself and your plan, and you’ll see real progress.

Don’t Let Your Business Development Efforts Derail Your Firm’s Plans.

How does your business development activity fit with your firm’s plans?

The tagline for Fleming Strategic is Building the practice within the firm. Unless you’re a sole practitioner, you must recognize that while your business development objectives and activities are personal to you, they have to fit within the strategy, approach, and culture of your law firm, or you’re likely to hit roadblocks that will make your path bumpy or even impossible.

Today, I’m offering you an excerpt from my book Legal Rainmaking Myths: What You Think You Know About Business Development Could Kill Your Practice.

Meet Paul

Paul was an ambitious Of Counsel practicing intellectual property litigation in a firm of about 100 lawyers. He was a second-career lawyer with a decade of experience in business and marketing, and Paul was teeming with ideas about how he might connect with new sources of business. He would periodically approach his team leader with ideas, and although the leader never explicitly rejected the ideas, he also never gave Paul the green light to move forward with them. Paul asked for a business development budget and was told none was available to him at his level of practice. He suggested that the firm sponsor an upcoming event and supported that request with data about the other sponsors and likely attendees, but he was told that the firm’s sponsorships were awarded based on partner requests only. Paul began to feel stymied, that he had no opportunity or flexibility to try new approaches to business development. He feared that his practice growth would suffer because of the firm’s reticence. The last time I spoke to Paul, he was gamely attempting to fit his approach to business development in the firm’s structure. When I looked him up a year later, he had left that firm.

Clients often tell me about various ways in which their firm, or some lawyers within the firm, stunted their business development efforts, either intentionally or through a lack of attention. If that’s your situation you may be facing the difficult decision of whether to stay or attempt a lateral move. However, there are steps you can take to address the situation.

First, get to the basis for the lack of progress. Is the block intentional, and if so, what’s the reason? You might consider whether the obstructive lawyers are uncomfortable with marketing in general (and if so, try to uncover the beliefs that are creating rainmaker numbness) or whether they’re simply not receptive to the ideas you’re pitching. If you find a general recalcitrance to business development activity, you will likely have an uphill battle to change that. You might raise the question of how the firm (or the team) sees its business development opportunities and determine whether the response is proactive or reactive. If the latter, you’re unlikely to create a shift on your own.

Second, if the stonewalling seems to be tied to your ideas in particular, consider whether your ideas are significantly different in character than the current activity. For example, have you suggested jumping into social media despite the fact that the firm has only a brochure-style website and no other virtual presence? Have you recommended a shift in the kind of client that firm might seek or a new strategy? If your ideas are out of step with the firm’s (or team’s) personality, you’ll probably find a great deal of resistance.

In either instance, you must evaluate the following questions:

  • Can you be successful by adopting the firm’s approach to business development (or its decision to avoid that activity)?

  • Can you suggest an experiment that would employ a low-risk, limited version of your idea to test it? (See Peter Sims’ book Little Bets for ideas on how to do this, and think critically about what parameters to use to ensure a fair test.)

  • Can you implement your ideas without involving the firm or the team as a whole (for example, a newsletter for your clients rather than for all of the firm’s clients)?
  • Are you willing to accept the limitations placed by the firm’s (or team’s) attitude toward business development or its strategy?

Your answers to these questions will determine your next steps.

If you’d like to uncover other rainmaking myths that may be blocking your way, perhaps we should chat. I have space for one new client this month. If you’d like to explore the opportunity, visit this link to schedule a free consultation.

Overcoming All-Or-None Thinking

Lawyers often have perfectionistic tendencies, according to study after study. And while perfectionism can seem like a useful attribute when details matter as much as they do in the practice of law, it actually tends to cause more problems than it avoids since perfection is more often than not an impossible standard to reach. See this article for more on why that is and how you can step toward setting your standard to excellence instead.

How does perfectionistic thinking affect business development? If you look at your business development efforts through the lens of perfection, you will be disappointed. You won’t do business with 100% of the potential clients you’d like, you won’t win 100% of the pitches you deliver, and you won’t receive responses from 100% of the people you contact. That’s a guarantee.

Equating a lack of success with failure means that you’re going to fail a lot in business development activity, just like everyone else. If you see the benefit in learning from your failures and changing your actions as a result, that might be a good thing. But if you see failure as proof that you’re not going to be able to build your book of business as you’d like, you’re probably going to hit a wall pretty quickly.

Moreover, if you aim for perfection rather than excellence, you may find that you’re stopping yourself from trying when you know you can’t achieve perfection. If this week’s goal is to draft an article or to meet with a key contact or to put in an hour doing what’s on your BD list and your schedule suddenly goes haywire thanks to client needs, you may decide that it’s better to do nothing than to do part of what you’d planned. Maybe that’s ok for a week here and there, but if it becomes your regular response, you’ve just undermined your own potential.

What does it look like to aim for excellence in business development? Set your overarching goals and your “when everything goes right” tasks that will move you toward those goals. Be sure both your goals and your tasks are:

  • Specific and measurable (bring in $X of business or deliver 3 CLE presentations to in-house counsel at a client or potential client organization, NOT get more business),
  • Achievable and realistic (don’t set a goal of bringing in $1M in new business this year if you can’t plot out a likely path to that goal based on your current position), and
  • Time-based (bring in $X of new business in the next year or deliver 3 CLE presentations to potential client organizations in the next six months).

In other words, setting SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, time-based) goals build the path toward excellence and away from perfectionism.

To stay on that path, ensure that your gaze remains firmly on what’s realistic. Perfection might push you toward achieving what you set out to do with no variance, but realism allows you to shift your objectives so that you continue to move forward, not to shut down when client demands or a family member’s health (just as examples of the many disruptions we all encounter) make the original goal unrealistic.

What are your SMART goals for this week?

Business Development Priorities Explained

When I begin working with a new client, one question comes up more than any other: how should I focus my business development time? There’s no single answer to that question, of course, since each lawyer is in a unique position. But there’s one answer that I give more than any other, and it often comes as a surprise.

“All things being equal, people will do business

with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.”

This quote, from Bob Burg’s excellent book Endless Referrals, sums up why it is that relationships serve as the basis for business development.

It also clarifies what your priorities should be when you’re looking to bring in new business: focus first on those who already know, like, and trust you, and then seek to expand those sources of business.  That order of approach dictates, in turn, the priorities that you should set as you work to develop your book of business.

  1. Priority #1: Current clients. Your current clients are your “low hanging fruit.”  Your top priority should be providing them excellent client service.  Consider these aspects of client service:
    • Communicate with your clients and observe their preferences for the amount and kind of communication that they want.
    • Be responsive. Manage your clients’ expectations and ensure that your clients always know how to contact you or someone in your office.
    • Share bad news appropriately. Deliver the news as soon as possible.  Explain the news, what it means, and advise the client about next steps.
    • Be reliable with cost estimates and billing.
    • Facilitate your work with your clients. Anything you can do to make it easier for your clients to do business with you is likely to be well received by your clients.
    • Spend time with your clients. Consider spending time with clients in a social setting or (where appropriate) by visiting their place of business to enhance your understanding of their business.
    • Deliver extra value to your clients. By providing some assistance, promotion, or service to your client that is over and above the legal services you’ve agreed to provide, you demonstrate the importance you place on your client relationships generally and on that client specifically.
    • Conduct client satisfaction interviews or surveys. Unless you ask, your clients are unlikely to volunteer their level of satisfaction unless they’re effusive in praise or dissatisfied to the point of considering terminating the relationship.
  1. Priority #2: Former Clients and Referral Sources. The second priority for business development efforts is former clients and referral sources.  These contacts already know and, presumably, like and trust you.
  2. Priority #3: “Warm” Potential Clients and Referral Sources. If you have some connection to a potential client or a contact who might be in a likely position to refer business to you, consider these individuals to be “warm” contacts.  They don’t yet know, like, or trust you, but if you’re introduced by someone with whom they have confidence, you’re more likely to be able to develop a relationship with greater speed than without such an introduction.
  3. Priority #4: Strangers. Converting complete strangers into clients is by far the most arduous form of business development activity.  It’s necessary to determine the potential client’s needs and to match your abilities to those needs, assuming that those needs aren’t currently being met by another lawyer. Raising the level of difficulty yet further, the process of getting to be known, liked, and trusted begins at ground zero.  While strangers do become clients, the path is typically longer and less direct than the path from warm contact to client.  Wooing strangers should be the lowest priority task in business development activity because it has the lowest potential of yielding new business at any given time.

When you apply these priorities to your business development efforts, something surprising will happen.  You’ll begin to view your billable work as a rainmaking activity as well as the heart of your practice.  You’ll also begin to see relationships as the “must do” meat of your business development plan, and you’ll understand why you shouldn’t expect to move a new contact quickly from stranger to client.  As a result, you’ll be able to stage the rainmaking work you do so that you put time in where it’s most effective.  And over time, you’ll find that your business development work yields much better results.

Leadership Skill: Anger Management

A client told me this true story a few years ago, and it’s never left me. (I have, of course, changed the names in this retelling.)

The trial finally started after numerous delays.  Richard listened patiently as Nathan made his opening statement.  When he finished, Nathan sat down at his counsel table.  As Richard stood to offer his opening, Nathan crooked his finger to beckon Richard over.  Motioning Richard to lean down, Nathan turned his body so they were face-to-face just inches apart, but neither the judge nor the jury could see Nathan’s lips.  Grinning broadly, Nathan whispered “&%$@ you,” then leaned back in his chair – leaving the court and the jury with the impression that they’d just shared a friendly, collegial exchange.  Richard, seething throughout his opening, never quite found his rhythm. Score one for rage.

Lawyers who are or aspire to be leaders must learn to self-manage.  The skill of self-management incorporates the habits that create sufficient energy, emotional resilience, and mental focus—essentially anything that promotes one’s ability to be her best self.  Especially when stressed or under pressure, it’s easy to let some aspects of self-management slide.  For example, some attorneys I know offer a blanket apology to staff and colleagues along these lines: “I’m feeling stressed, so please excuse me if I blow up or yell at you or throw things, ok?”  I don’t recommend that approach; it’s been than nothing, I suppose, but it’s announcing that bad behavior is coming and that it will come unchecked.

Lawyers are all too often faced with galling statements, actions, arguments, and behavior.  As the opening vignette shows, sometimes the irritation is extreme.  Some lawyers’ litigation or negotiation tactics include making an effort to find their opponents’ hot buttons: push the button and out pops an angry person whose train of thought left the station as anger pulled in, someone who’s hard to believe or respect. (Same goes for witnesses, too.) When that happens, emotional resilience goes out the window and self-management becomes difficult because the brain’s attention is hijacked.

So, what can you do when faced with provocation that would make the Buddha quiver with rage?  I suggest six steps that can help you maintain your focus and avoid an unconscious reaction.  These steps are simple yet often difficult to apply in the heat of the moment.  The more you practice them, however, the closer they’ll come to habit.

  1. Keep your attention on the motivation behind the provocation. Is the person who’s enraging you doing it intentionally, or is it a by-product of words or behavior that she likely thinks perfectly appropriate? If it’s the former, don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing he succeeded. If it’s the latter, consider whether displaying annoyance would stop the behavior or simply let your opponent know that she’s found a soft spot.
  2. Breathe. This is great advice for just about any charged situation, but it’s especially good for dealing with anger. Faced with provocation, you can react (which implies knee-jerk emotional feedback made without any reflection) or you can respond (which implies feedback that follows a pause and analysis/reflection to determine the best way to address the situation). Almost without exception, responding creates better results than reacting will, and breathing offers a chance for you to collect yourself and respond. There’s no reason why you can’t fall silent for a few seconds (even though the time may feel interminable to you and your opponent) while you work through your options.
  3. Speak softly. Most of us tend to raise our voices when we speak in anger. Therefore, it’s disarming to do the opposite and to speak more quietly. The effect is to appear reasonable and controlled (especially helpful if your opponent is ranting and raving and appearing to be out of control) and to force your opponent to listen carefully to hear what you have to say. I’ve read that in Japanese culture when two parties are arguing, the one who raises her voice first loses. It’s a difficult tactic for many of us to master, but if you can speak softly in the face of provocation, you will stand a much better chance of controlling your anger.
  4. Vent. Express your anger in some forum that poses no risk of exposing it. Writing can be helpful, but especially if you write an angry response to an email, be sure that you don’t accidentally send it!
  5. Exercise. That’s physical venting. When feasible, it’s a great idea to get up and take a walk instead of marinating in a situation that makes you angry.
  6. Selective, intentional release of anger. Sometimes, it’s absolutely appropriate to respond to provocation by expressing your anger at the person whose behavior has triggered it. But consider the consequences of such an expression. Will you disrupt a relationship? Do you stand to lose ground? Will your expressed anger cause the person to react in a way that will cause you even more trouble? And when you do choose to display anger, consider doing so through your words only but continuing to speak in a low, even tone of voice. That will reinforce the gravity of your words.

Despite our best efforts at these tactics, all of us lose our tempers sometimes. When that happens, don’t be afraid to apologize, admit to being human, and move forward.

“But I Don’t Have Time!”

Have you ever complained about business development activity because you just don’t have the time?  Might as well admit it: this is one of the top objections I hear and observe. I’ve even had this complaint myself.

But here’s the sad truth: it doesn’t matter. You know that already. If you don’t have time to develop business, it hurts no one but you. And make no mistake: it will hurt you.

Sometimes a lack of time is a legitimate objection. If you’re working on a discovery deadline or deep in negotiations to close a deal—in other words, if your lack of time has a clear horizon—then your complaint probably has both validity and an end in sight. What do you have in place to carry you through the busy period? While far short of full activity, having a newsletter (remember, you can recycle evergreen content) or even sending email check-ins to keep in touch with high-priority contacts can get you through until you can resume your normal business development work.

But what if you’re always busy? On the one hand, it’s a good problem to have if your busyness is due to billable work. You (or someone else who’s feeding you work) are busy serving clients, which is the goal. However, without a reliable pipeline of new work, your busy period might lead you into the feast/famine cycle.

Ask first whether you’re genuinely busy or whether something else is going on. I don’t like balancing my checkbook, and it’s amazing how often I find that I’m “too busy” to do it. Do you dislike business development activity? Do you resent that you can’t just focus your time on practicing? If so, you may find that you’re not as busy as you think, but that you’re great at rationalizing why other tasks take priority. And check out this “oldie but goodie” blog post to help you determine whether the tasks that keep cropping up are urgent or important.

If you’re truly always busy, check out this article to figure out how to find your minimum effective business development activity. 

If it feels like you can’t even hit the minimum you identify, it’s time for more drastic action. Try one of these pattern-interrupts.

  • Drop something that isn’t a high priority. Take a critical look at your schedule and see where you might eliminate a time suck or how you might be more effective. If you tend to record your time on a weekly or monthly basis rather than daily, that’s a good place to start. Reconstructing your time is far slower (and less accurate, leading to potential financial loss and even ethical problems) than recording it as you work.
  • Consider how you might combine activities. This isn’t a slam-dunk answer, but check to see if you could combine non-billables in some way. For example, could you do the necessary reading while you’re on the treadmill? Could you create your task list while you’re commuting?
  • Look for pockets of time. Yes, you might be more effective with big chunks of time. You might prefer to work a task to completion. If that isn’t happening, though, it’s time to look for an alternative. Find and use pockets of time, leaving trails so that you know where to pick up next time. If you can find 5 or 10 minutes a day and you use that time both consistently and effectively, you’ll make more headway than you will if you wait until conditions are ideal.
  • Not as in “retreat from your objectives,” but plan your own business development retreat. If you’re always busy, you may need to take massive action to get tasks done. Try taking one day (or even a half-day) a month to make real progress on your biz dev work, and you may be surprised what you can accomplish. This may mean giving up something else that’s valuable to you, so it might be a quarterly action rather than weekly or monthly.

Finally, check your goals. In a very (very) few instances, you may not need to focus on business development after all. If you’re the beneficiary of a rainmaker’s new work, and if you’re willing to accept the gamble that nothing will change, so be it. If you decide that you want to leave practice, it may not make sense to spend your time building a book of business. Just be careful as you make this evaluation since things can change on a dime and deciding not to build your own practice could come back to bite you. Hard.